ifbychanceyouunderstand

The only difference between fear and love

is whether or not we allow ourselves to

succumb or surrender.

I chose love.

Lure me like you used to.

Look at me from across the room so I know you want me.

Take me by the hand and lead me to your cave.

I am not afraid.

I will follow, and lie down when you want.

Make love to me.

My body yearns for your touch.  Your kiss.

Breathe heavy so I know you need me.

I will respond and ask for more.

Again, and again I will ask for more.

I thought we were.

I knew we were.

We were.

How could our bodies feel so connected?

How could I have missed the signs?

I now understand that intensity is often confused with intimacy.

And, that you needed me to be a certain way for your own sake.

How could you when I was wide open with my love?

How could you?

How could I?

I want to pleasure you,

And, therefore pleasure me.

I know what you need.

You know what I need.

And need, and need…

You.

In that secret place only you know so well.

In that secret place I want you to be.

You said.

I said.

Who said?

You did.

I did.

Who did?

We said.

We did.

I miss u next 2 me.

Soft.

Warm.

Seductive.

I want to forget, but I cannot right now.

Maybe not ever.

I miss u.

Madness, sadness, muckety muck.

Focus, clarity, what the fuck?

My mind is mine and your mind is yours.

Even when most of it, all of it blurs.

If I had my way I’d choose mind over matter.

But then I’d be seen as the crazy Mad Hatter.

I ask your forgiveness.

For things I’ve done.

For things I will do.

I apologize in anticipation.

I apologize in perpetuity.

I know you will forgive me.

Will I be able to forgive myself?

It’s easy to love then.

What’s not to love?

Love is everywhere.  I love everyone.  I love everything.

It feels good to love.

It feels good to be loved.

It’s not so easy to love then.

Love doesn’t come on it’s own.

For you, or for me.

Love is gone.  In everyone.  In everything.

I need love.

Then and now.

At the end of the day, the sun sets but my mind races.

I cannot wind down.

There is no respite for the mad.

It is during the darkness my mind cannot be still.

I want to sleep, but I am afraid if I do I will not be the same when I wake.